Who I am... and Who I want to be....

I'm trying to forget you.... but I don't think its working.
I'm trying to imagine that this never happened.
I'm trying to feel like I'm no longer broken.
I'm trying to think of a world where I'm whole again.

I'm wishing for a different life today.
I'm wishing for a different purpose.
I'm wishing for a different way to get out there.
I'm wishing for a different way out.

I'm seeing a different path for me now.
I'm seeing a different way of life.
I'm seeing a different person in the mirror.

Or at least I hope I am.

I hope to move forward
I hope to different
I'm hoping to be who I'm supposed to be.

Cause at the moment, I don't think I'm that person.....

Not anymore.........

No Fun

"Hate to break it to you, but this isn't going to work.  I love you but this isn't how I saw this going.  I like you and all, but your habits just don't work for me."


The dog stared up at her, and she was lost, again.

She just couldn't seem to say no...

Me

I don't want to be me tonight.  I want to be someone else.  I want to feel differently.  I want to be different.  I want to be a part of a world that allows me to feel how I wish.  I want to be allowed  to make something of whatever I choose.  I want to be able to make different choices and not be looked down upon for that.  These are my wants, my desires, but will I ever be able to realize them?  I don't think so...

Fake

Two Face has nothing on you
I'm sorry I changed
Sorry you stayed the same
Sorry I've grown up but you wanted to be Peter Pan
Sorry I out grow a childishness that you cling to
Sorry that my life has evolved but Darwin didn't imagine a person like you.

This is the new me
This is how it is
Sorry if you can't deal with that
Sorry that you annoy me
Sorry that I wish things were different but know that they can't be
Sorry that you have to face the facts.

Tell Me Something I Don't Know

Tell me,
Tell me that I'm wrong
Tell me that it isn't what I think it is
Tell me that it isn't what it looks like.

Tell me,
Tell me and then go away.

Leave me alone
Leave me alone I'm not listening
Leave me alone I don't care
Leave me alone I don't want to hear it.

Leave me alone,
Leave me alone forever.

Really?

So this is how you want it.
You want promises and dreams from me,
But you'll give me nothing?
You want to know my very thought,
But I don't deserve a basic outline?
You want me to tell you everything,
But I should find out through the gossip trails?
You say that you'll make me happy,
But do you actually know how?
You say that you love me,
But do you really?
You say so many things that aren't true,
How do I know that this isn't more of the same?
You tell me every day that you need me,
How can you say that when your actions speak louder than your words?
You way that everything will work out,
How exactly do you intend to fix this?
You say I mean everything to you,
How is it that I feel like dirt every time we're together?
You say that love conquers all,
How do you know that?
You seem to only love yourself,
How would you know?
You want all of me,
How am I to believe that really?
Really?
Really, really?

Waiting

Alone, for now
At peace, never
Restless, always
Wondering, at all times
Scared beyond belief
But hopeful.
Always hopeful,
That one day
My waiting
Will end
And the torment
Will be over.